Okay so, I know I've been silent in my last few posts and haven't said anything, but now I do have something to say. I've been silent and not nearly blogging "properly" because I was so excited for October it's my only favorite month that I just love. Something about the month of October is just electrifying well not this year and maybe no more after. I had really high highs coming into October, I felt extremely positive, but as it grew closer towards the end of the month the more I felt my sanity shift.     

    I am burnt out and my creativity is shot and I am at the point where I just don't care. I am not sure if it's because of all I been through this year, but this has been one of the most horrific moments of my life and I just giving up. I'm finding a disconnect with everything reality and second life. I cry on and off, my moods switch like a light switch. 

    I'm so angry and frustrated. 

- Knovokaine 

 

 

 

 

    So tomorrow a few events start for me. I'm going to be busy this entire month so I might as well do two post a day till they're all over starting tonight and then tomorrow mid afternoon. Ya my views and faves will suffer but, I really don't care. I learned a long time ago I will never get high faves anymore. As long as I make pretty photos that's all that should matter right? Nupe, they want 150+ faves on every flippin' photo. I know I do amazing work and faves don't matter to me anymore. I'd rather take comments over faves and support. 

    So tomorrow Dark Style Fair starts, Chronicles and Legends. Then later on Hallow Manor starts, Tokyo Zero ah god the list goes on. I am mentally tired. I am to the point where I just don't really wanna come online anymore even just to blog it's getting tiresome. You miss deadlines and it makes you feel so replaceable. Trying to find the word...like they don't appreciate your work at all. You could blog the entire store and yet you miss deadlines your kicked. You been with a company for years and blog their products, miss deadlines and no reply, no nothing just treated terrible, so why give it my all when I'm so replaceable? 

    This isn't my real life job. Even my real life job I get treated far better than how I get treated as a blogger. As Forest Gump said, "That's all I have to say about that." 

    I'll see yall tomorrow with another look.  

-Kodeine